A desperado writes: “I started making my list of desired traits in a potential partner and I feel like I am being greedy. Am I asking for too much?”
First of all, Hell no! You are not asking for too much. You’ve been in shitty relationships precisely because you haven’t asked for enough. So get that straight right now! This is not the time for compromise or scarcity thinking. This is the time to dream big, so let it all flow without censoring yourself.
The more specific you are in your list, the better. Tell the universe exactly who you want it to provide. Paint a detailed picture of this person, who they are, what they look like, how they smell, what they like to do and try to imagine the way you want to feel in this person’s presence. Not being specific about these details is like saying you’d like some art, but not identifying what type. Thomas Kincade might produce art, but it sure as shit is not what I want on my walls!
This partner you desire is unique to you, so don’t go copying off of someone else’s list. Don’t worry about making the list acceptable for public consumption either; you can and should keep it private. It is nobody’s business but your own and you don’t need other people poking their well-meaning but misguided noses into your scene. However, it is vital that you be as honest and detailed with yourself as you can about what is most important to you. In the end, it is you who will be with this person, so don’t pick somebody just to please your mom, or kids or impress your friends. You really do know best. If you are happy, they will be happy. And if they are not, maybe they don’t deserve a place in your inner circle. Except the kids of course, you’re kind of stuck with them, at least until they are 18…
But seriously, its ok to ask for what you want. Who knows? You might just get it. I did!