What is Desperately Dating?
Desperately dating (DD) is an uncomfortable state of mind that leads to unproductive actions. It is when a desire for a relationship is mistaken as a need for a relationship. Read that again. This state of mind leads to desperate actions to find a relationship as soon as possible.
DD often follows the end of another relationship because you’ve gotten so comfortable with being a “we” that you’ve forgotten how to be a “me”. Imagine a relationship is like a boat where you are cruising merrily along with your partner. Or maybe it’s not so smooth sailing, but more like one of those disaster movies with 100 foot waves and such, but you get the idea. Then something changes and you either fall, willingly jump or get thrown off of the boat. Or maybe it just capsizes due to factors beyond your control sort of like the Titanic, but the point is you find yourself in the sea all alone and desperate to get out of the water.
DD is when you grab the first life ring that is thrown to you from any passing boat. You don’t care what type of boat is, where it is going, or who is on it. You just grab that ring and hold on for dear life. Soon finding yourself on a Russian fishing trawler with 10 smelly sailors of questionable morals on your way to Siberia for the winter. Being alone in the sea seems so bad that you will do anything to get out of it. This is DD.
DD is seeking love from a place of neediness instead of a place of peace and stability. You start running over stop signs and ignoring red flags left and right, anything to fill up the hole you perceive in your life where you believe a partner is supposed to be. I’m mixing my metaphors here, but you get the picture.
Karyn Shomler AKA kc is me