Finding True Love Requires Endurance; My Story Part 5
30-40 dates in I hit the wall. I started questioning. Maybe I wasn’t meant to have true romantic love in this lifetime. And oddly, I was ok with that. I was feeling good about my life – I had healthy kids, a home, a good job, friends and adult companionship when I wanted it (including sex). I still had a desire for a partner, but I didn’t feel like there was a hole I was trying to fill. If someone came along, great. If not, I wasn’t going to be crushed and stop living and enjoying my life.
So the dating slowed down, my choice. I even took another break from dating at one point with another Mr Right Now for a couple of months, but that was mainly just sex. I have never been very good at just having a sexual relationship without a deeper emotional connection, but I gave it a whirl. Didn’t last, but it was kinda fun for a little while. I felt a bit naughty, truth be told (in a good way), but ultimately not for me.
A dating break served me well and I went back in the pool with renewed energy and outlook. I had more peace about the prospect of finding someone being an “if” rather than a “when”. I wish I had kept track of the real numbers, but let’s just say I met Steven as date number 44 (4 is my favorite number). I’m a pretty practical person, not overly sentimental and not a total crackpot, but please believe me when I say we fell in love on our first date. No shit, for real. We talked endlessly, we laughed, we cried, we bared our souls to each other. I felt like I had known him my whole life. And, bonus, he was so cute!!! After about a month of being together, I came across my original list tucked into a book. I was amazed and tickled to see that he checked every one of those boxes! With just one exception. He’s not tall. Oh well! He’s not short either, but what the hell does that even really matter? It doesn’t.
We have been together ever since, now married and people still comment on how we seem like newlyweds. He is my person. I found him and I am so grateful that I stuck it out and did not regress to desperately dating! Had I been more desperate, I might have settled for one of those guys who seemed ok, but not great. With Steven, there was no analysis needed. I didn’t have to weigh his faults against his good traits and make some complicated computation about if he was right enough. It was clear that we fit. I’m so glad I held out for great! And you can have this too. I am proof.
Karyn Shomler AKA kc is me